This Regenerated Life

toes in the sand

2011-06-01T09:37:00.000-04:00

God seems so much bigger to me when I'm at the beach :) I walk to the surf and sing that Nicole C. Mullen song...."Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning, and Who told the ocean, you can only come this far....."

Psalm 139:16, 17 is an awesome reminder of how often our Lord thinks of us. Did you know that there are approximately 5,000 grains of sand in one teaspoon. To get a visual picture of how often we are on God's mind, make one grain of sand equal one second. It would take 82 1/2 five-gallon buckets to equal one year's worth of thoughts! But it says, "and when I awake I am still with you." All the sand in the world equals just the night's thoughts! Wow!! I guess this is His way of telling us that we are continually on His mind.

It comforts me to know that even when I am completely overwhelmed and anxious, He is thinking of me.

prophecy and adultery ( now there's a title lol)

2011-03-30T06:53:00.005-04:00

this post is a hurried random thought this morning, before I have to take the girls to school :)

i had an experience this week with a man that does not know me or Jody and he spoke a word of prophecy over me and my husband about things we have been talking and praying about for quite some time. the flesh in me wants to find the person that told him about us and remain in pure skepticism, but the fact that he could speak so specifically to us really makes me excited.

prayer and time will try these words by fire and see if there is gold in the end....

on another note, our ministry is meeting up with several groups in our community over the next couple of weeks and I couldn't be more excited. you know its from God, when He gives you a vision of something you absolutely can't do without Him!

pray for us as we prepare to step out in faith on this calling. we get hit the hardest when we really press forward and I have had many unexpected things thrown my way lately...

and lastly, my heart hurts for a pastor and church that have been rocked by an affair he has admitted to...and let me just tell you, when someone has fallen into this, there is such a fine line between conviction and condemnation that can keep him from ever recovering. please please pray for them. people seem to think they have reason to "punish" or "chastise" ones who have hurt them in the process of their sin, and I do believe that leaders are held to a much higher standard, but he only has ONE judge and if we are truly followers of Christ, all we are to do is love him inspite, and deal with our judgements through the Father. :)

i just love all my sweet friends that blog. God has placed different gifts in us all, and when i read what God is doing in your lives it really makes my heart smile. thanks for letting me get on my soapbox every now and then. I am so so far from what the Lord has called me to be, but I enjoy this journey of blogging and seeing us all evolve over time :) blessing to you today! and may you feel the unconditional love of our Saviour!

Keeping my Big Mouth Shut!

2011-02-25T19:40:00.007-05:00

I don't think many people read my blog so I am sure that I haven't been missed, but I couldn't believe how long it had actually been...

So much has been going on lately...some good..some bad...Just haven't been able to put into words my feelings and have been guarding my emotions to a certain extent....Plus our work in the "recovery" realm has been a huge focus in our lives lately and since it is extremely confidential (and i love to talk) I have been very careful to keep my Big Mouth Shut! ;)

The Lord has been moving in our lives in such a smooth way. Over the years, He has been somewhat like "thunder and lightening" and the past few months He has been like the Sunrise...I wish I could put that into better words...I will think more about how to explain that.

Julia accepted the Lord as her Savior and has been so engrossed with her prayer life and reading..yes, READING her Bible...She has such a nurturing spirit and is praying for the Lord to reveal her purpose in life at a young age...while she is still very much a 6 year old, she is so so so concerned and eager to learn the Word and know God personally. We went to the Holy Land Experience in Orlando last week and it was a life changing trip for our girls. The Bible came to life. I will have to make a post about that trip all by itself. It made such an impression on Joannah...She will be my little evangelist...she has no hesitation in sharing what the Bible says and calling things out when they don't line up..Lord help us all when she is a teenager...I pray she stays close to the Lord...I might have to lock her up if she doesn't lol she is so much like her Momma

After Julia prayed the Sinners Prayer I came across an interesting fact. There is no historical proof until around 1920 that the "sinner's prayer" was used to lead people to Christ. Do you wonder how people gave their lives to Christ before 1920? It almost makes me feel like the "sinners prayer" has crippled our faith in a huge way. How many people do you know that are living so far out of God's will, yet fully believe they are going to heaven because of a prayer they prayed when they were younger...Wow....this hit me like a ton of bricks...

It's not about ONE prayer that happened...it's about being a follower of Christ...daily...this has absolutely blown my mind on how I teach my children about salvation and what it truly means to love God and keep His commandments.

Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking the prayer and how it has been used lead so many to the Lord...it just really has had me thinking about how people gave their lives to Christ before this was the "thing to do"...does that make sense?

any thoughts?

Busy Busy Busy

2010-08-31T18:47:00.005-04:00

I had no idea how busy our life would get after Julia started Kindergarten and Joannah started back to Preschool. I am so so happy that we decided to send Julia to Excel. I can honestly say that it has been the best decision I have made in a Loooong time. It's just more than I could have imagined. Joannah is now in my mom's room at Sam Jones and she is just as happy as a pig in mud.

We started our Celebrate Recovery class and it is just wonderful! This group has been the most different of any class we have been a part of or started. People are coming from every walk of life, every stage in life and with all different reasons. Usually its a focus group of drugs and alcohol, but this time, the reasons are just so vast and it is so encouraging to see how open and real people are willing to become when they are truly desperate for change.

I am excited for what the year holds. I am expecting BIG things and am more confident and focused than I have been the past couple of years.

I just wanted to share something that I have been chewing on the past couple of days. Pastor shared Sunday morning that "Faith that can't be tested, can't be trusted." I have been thinking about situations and cirumstances the past year that have tested me, my faith, my commitments and the me when no one else is around. While I have not passed them all, I have been able to look back and see just how far God has brought me. I am encouraged and even feel somewhat excited to see that faith grow throughout the new tests and challenges I will face.

"Don't copy the behaviors and cusoms of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you." Romans 12:2

Getting it off my chest...

2010-07-15T11:45:00.002-04:00

This past week has honestly been one of the most emotional experiences of my life. As you can tell in my last blog, I went through my "anger stage" I guess, and this morning I had the best cry I have had, and now I am feeling strong again.

I love my little brother more than there are words and Jennifer has truly been like a sister to me since the moment they started dating. Our back yards meet and we are all together for dinner at least once if not twice a week.

I had the opportunity to cry and be surrounded in prayer this morning, which felt awefully selfish, seeing that I'm not the one in the hospital, but I have been reminded that God can multi-task :)

We have been faced with the decision to either believe God or not. And we choose to believe.

To my sweet friends who have blogs, if you have an opportunity to link his site
PorterMcClain.blogspot.com to yours, I would be forever grateful. We still need as many to pray as possible. Thank you all for the love and support you have shown us. I am still amazed at the way the Holy Spirit moves behind the scenes and has had people help meet specific needs without them even knowing it.

Looking forward to bringing you good news soon!

Mama don't play that...

2010-07-14T21:08:00.005-04:00

I have been blogging the past couple of days on portermcclain.blogspot.com for our precious friends and family (and strangers)to keep up with my beautiful nephews progress. He is absolutely amazing. Today wasn't the best of days, but we know that it will be a process and that every morning we receive new mercies and grace for the day. HOWEVER, today, I finally had my "moment."

For those of you who really know me, you know that I don't put up with people hurting my friends. I don't care if we are in an elevator, at a restaurant, Dr's office, parking lot, you sass my friends or even look at them funny....you will hear from me. So my protective nature is only magnified when it comes to my family, especially my little brother.

So, I'm writing that blog to help keep the questions off Thomas and Jennifer and so many people have been leaving encouraging comments....until this morning. Now, yesterday, I was strong, positive, steady....today, not so much. I have been uneasy, uncomfortable and just frankly scared. THEN some one decides to leave a comment on a post, which is along the lines of "babies shouldn't be on a machine, that's no way of life for a child, and basically saying they were selfish for not just letting him go"

Yea...Mama don't play that. I then, in the heat of the moment, wrote a post. I then realized that it might not be the best idea to threaten to kick someones a-double-s on a prayer blog. lol You know, I was immediately angry, but now I just feel sorry for someone who is so miserable that they would try and steal the hope of a young couple who is fighting for the life of their child. Maybe their intentions weren't how it came out, but it was definitely the opposite of what we needed.

I, of course, removed it before too many people saw it, but it was just too easy to take my frustrations and anger out on an anonymous joker.

At least I have been able to laugh about the crazy things I said. I mean, we all think them and say things like that when no one is listening, but I think it was a rare moment when I just typed every thought that came to mind. Kind of therapeutic, I would suggest trying to sometime....just not necessarily where others can read it :)

Anyways, I'm just sayin' Mama don't play that.....so watch your back!

Porter McClain Ruff

2010-07-11T16:09:00.004-04:00

My precious brother and sis-in-law delivered the most beautiful and precious little boy yesterday at 7:36 pm. He weighed 7.95 lbs and is 21 inches long. A head full of dark hair and looks just like his daddy.

He was diagnosed with hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy after being asphyxiated by the umbilical chord. The details are too numerous and emotionally draining to record here, but after many complications, he was sent to Grady where he is now in the NICU. He is currently stable but critial. We pray that his little body will continue to fight against the odds, AND HE IS A FIGHTER! He has a long road ahead of him and we won't truly know how much damage was done until the 72 hour mark. They currently have him in theraputic hypothermia to try and repair as much damage as possible during this critial time. Jennifer and Thomas will be able to see him tomorrow and are looking forward to being reunited with their baby.

Please pray for them as they begin this uncertain journey. I know that there is a purpose for every time under heaven and while this has broken our hearts more than you can imagine, we are all regrouping and praying and believing God for miracles.

thank you sweet friends. I am going to try and encourage them to start journaling on CaringBridge, but right now they just aren't able to even think about that. I will try and keep updates on PORTERMCCLAIN.blogspot.com at least once a day for any changes or specific needs that he has. If you want to leave them a message or any well wishes, you can comment here and I will send them along to them every day. They need all the encouragement they can get :)

much love from us and our precious little man!

renewal

2010-05-22T10:18:00.000-04:00

Right now I am sitting by the pool watching Jody and the kids play while listening to the ocean waves crash. Jesus is definately at the beach :) there is something about leaving home and going to another world where you just lay around, eat, snuggle on the couch, take long walks, eat some more and just enjoy everything around you.

St Simons means so much to me. I can remember coming down with Jody on our first vacation together at the ripe age of 18 :) then us getting married on the beach here and so many memories we have created with the girls here. Its like home away from home.

When I am here, I often leave feeling renewed and reenergized. It makes me want to make changes when I get home, although by the time we are 3 hours into our trip home with the girls, reality sets in much quicker than wanted. So this time, I am leaving some things behind that I will not take home with me. I am ready for some changes to me made. I have a lot of work ahead of me, so I need to "cut the crap" as my big daddy would say :). So I am! Some of my beginning changes sound too rude to write, but I am very excited and already have a sense of freedom!

I'm going to throw some of my issues and insecurities into the ocean and watch them sink. I have a feeling that the more free I get the more fiesty I will become, so I am going to try and keep that at bay without changing the person God created me to be.

Hope you all have a wonderful start to summer and can take everyday to try something new, or do something a different way. Its a new season friends. Its a new day. A fresh annointing is flowing your way. Its a season of power and prosperity. Its a new season!

get ready, get ready, get ready

2010-05-09T19:05:00.002-04:00

when TD Jakes gets ready to preach a pumped up service, he hollers "get ready, get ready, get ready!" to his congregation :)

not sure what it exactly is, but I just have this sense of anticipation about what God is in the midst of doing. we have been praying for at least 2 years about something we are VERY passionate, and it seems like God is finally showing us the way, the beginning of something I KNOW is going to rock our worlds, and hopefully make an impact on our community.

we are commited and in the groove at Liberty Square. we couldn't be happier. I wish it hadn't taken us so long to get setttled in, but I know that we were in the midst of healing and preparing for the next season in our lives. and now....we have pushed past the fear we were holding onto, and have just decided that we are going to keep pushing until God says stop.

so many exciting things are going on around us. people we love are in the midst of life changing opportunites and I just feel like God is stirring up revival in our area.

get ready....get ready....get ready!!!

in one of those moods....

2010-04-27T14:47:00.003-04:00

yall, my past couple of posts have been kinda sad and overwhelming but today is just aweful. tomorrow i will be the beginning of the end of my twenties :( i know, it's just devistating. beside my botox, i think i am going to get a big tattoo on my butt that says BIG MAMA! and im only kind of kidding. lol

i just want to walk up to a stranger and say "booya"

yea, im in one of those moods :)

heartbroken

2010-04-15T20:29:00.001-04:00

Yesterday our family experienced a devistating blow, in the death of Jody's aunt, who's life was ended at age 46. I met Donna about 11 years ago and if there was ever an advocate for Jody to get his life turned around, it was Donna. She has left behind 2 of the most precious young women that I am so lucky to call my family.

In the midst of such heartache, her girls are being overwhelmed by outside distractions that is making this process even harder than you could imagine.

Please please pray for Jody's sweet family. Tomorrow will prove to be the hardest day yet in this process and Saturday will hopefully bring some closure to this process.

Specifically, pray that her girls ears only hear words of encouragment, hope, and comfort.

thank you my sweet friends

things that make me smile

2010-04-12T14:23:00.010-04:00

sometimes we need to find little things have make us smile.

here are a few on mine:

1. snail mail - seeing as how we only ever gets bills or inviations in the mail, i hardly look forward to the trip to the mail box, but every now and then, i get a letter or card, and i can smile about that for a solid week :)

2. a full tank of gas - i am one of those people who only usually put in 15 or 20 at a time. for some reason, it makes me think that i'm not spending as much on gas, even though i have to get it all the time. but when i have a full tank, i smile.

3. when my girls repeat words or sayings that i make up. i'm all the time saying things like "boober schmoober" "stinker binker" "linky dinky" and "fussy mcfusserson". then the girls will be playing in the playroom with their dolls and someone will say "don't be a linky-dinky-doodle, take your medicine." it just cracks me up.

4. when i can mess up my moms hair. she loves her some hairspray and every now and then, i just rub her head. it's like therapy to me, i can laugh til i pee over this one :)

we have had a tough few days, but i am choosing to find time to smile as much as i can. i know that we will get on the other side of this and that eventually we will have our next battle to face, so i am trying to learn to smile, laugh and praise even while in the middle of it :)

from my blackberry :)

2010-04-06T21:11:00.000-04:00

I have never blogged from my blackberry before, but tonight I needed to vent and I'm just too tired to get up and get the laptop :) and already I can tell you this will be a short one because its like texting the whole thing! Hee hee

We were supposed to be in St.Simons right now, probably sitting on the deck snuggling listening to the sweet ocean, but instead we are getting ready for another trip to the doctor/hospital tomorrow. Joannah hasn't had been able to go 7 days without a fever since November, and now she has pneumonia and they have found an issue, that we discovered when she was going through so many health problems at birth, to have come back to haunt us. We will soon see what the next step is but things get emotionally exhausting when it comes to your kids. (I know I'm preaching to the choir)

THEN we also find out that the tube that has put in Julia's eye during her last surgery has somehow come out. We don't know when or how, but its gone and we have also realized it didn't work, so now we are onto the next surgery.

Its just been one of those days where you are soooo glad the clock keeps getting closer to midnight because you know its almost over.

BUT I had some super sweet moments with my girls today and am so grateful that we get this week to just rest and spend some down time together.
If you have a moment after reading this, please say a prayer for them. They are two of the sweetest girls, and I am looking forward to getting over this hump! As soon as we get clearance from Dr.Payne, we are hitting the road and not stopping to we reach the sand!

Palm Sunday

2010-03-28T17:33:00.002-04:00

Man, today has been a great day! Me and the girls woke up super early and had a little celebration for Palm Sunday. I read them the story and we walked around with our "palm branches" and I fully believe Joannah thought once we were finished that Jesus was going to walk down the street :) The girls are so interested these days in having me read them the Bible and they have a LOT of questions. Julia gets a lot of it for a 5 year old and Joannah has her own take on things lol I will continue to work with her :)

Church was AMAZING! Even though Joannah didn't get to see Jesus walk down the street, He showed up at Liberty Square. We just had a service of worship through music and dance. And I one of those people who will just about cry at every service, but today the ugly cry came out. There is something about seeing young ladies and teenagers praise through dance and interpretation. Wow, they did a great job and the music was as wonderful as ever!

Friday night they will be having a Good Friday service and I am sooooo looking forward to being there! I am so desperate for more of God right now. Good Friday moves me beyond feelings and words. Easter Sunday stirs in me more excitement than I feel more than any other time of the year! I'm just so grateful that because of the sacrifice He made, I was given a New Life! Im just excited. I'm grateful for my new mercies every morning.

If you don't have plans Friday night, the service starts at 7 and is going to be amazing! I can't imagine any other place to be on Good Friday than in the house of God worshiping Him for the sacrifice He made for us.

I'm sure that I will write again this week, but I just wanted to go ahead and put the word out for Friday! PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR! :)

One Month to Live

2010-03-27T09:04:00.002-04:00

I am not a reader, well, I haven't been a reader......I mean, I read my Bible and got HOOKED on the Twilight Series (yum) and started reading a bit here and there the past year but lately I have had this craving to read. I started my search for my next book, and got lots and LOTS of suggestions, but I came across and book that has REALLY sparked my interest. I ordered it yesterday and am completely filled with excitement to read it!

It's called "One Month to Live." Can you imagine if you went to your doctor and he told you you only had 30 days left to live you life? I just can't imagine it. I think it would be my worst nightmare, and so many people have heard diagnosis like this. 6 months. 1 year. A few weeks. We live like there will always be a tomorrow and in turn, get upset over the STUPIDEST stuff, put off apologizing, put most of the spiritual responsibility on the church, and make everything about ME ME ME.

I am the worst at this. I get my feelings hurt waaayyyy to easily. I want a new car, all kinds of new stuff for my house, to spoil my kids, I want to travel,......but if I only had 30 days, those things would definitely change.

I don't know what I would do. My brain has been processing this thought since I read the title. I am hoping to take the challenge of this 30 days of changing the way I look at my life, and what I can truly accomplish if I put my mind to it.

I'm pretty excited. I will definitely be writing more about this once I start the book.

If you have read this, would you please leave me a comment on some of the things you would do if you only had 30 days to live? I would love to hear some of your thoughts :) I am hoping us all to inspire each other.......

Thanks and God Bless!
Jacquelyn

For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then
vanished away. James 4:14

happy anniversary

2010-03-24T12:05:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we celebrated 8 years of marriage and 11 years of being sweethearts.

I am the happiest I have ever been and looking forward to many many more years as Mrs. Jody Ray. He truly is the best thing that ever happened to me, and he gave me the most wonderful, spirited, and happy little girls. My life is truly complete.

We have been blessed to have to fight for our marriage. It has caused a bond between us that will never again be shaken. I am continually learning that friends come and go, so your spouse needs to be your BEST friend. I am so grateful we have found our best friends in each other ~ (not to say that it didn't take a while) lol

Happy Anniversary Jody Ray. No one knows me like you do, and No one know you like I do. How awesome it is....Every Year together is another kick in the devils teeth! Thank you for blessing me with such loyalty, strength, confidence, and support.

I love you with all my heart, and Yes, I would take that dagger and chase the devil down for you ;) hee hee

it's challenging me

2010-03-18T17:12:00.007-04:00

it is not an understatement to say that my family has had a hard time figuring out what church we are going to truly plant our lives in. i have had the loving and not-so-loving opinions and advice on the subject from well meaning friends and family, but we are seriously flopping all over cartersville :)

we went from liberty square, to fbc, back to liberty square, visited sam jones, and have spent the last 3 weeks worshiping at oakleaf. i can tell you that cartersville has some amazing churches and amazing people.

so i've taken a few notes on the places we've visited and here's My Notes (which will probably offend someone but seriously, Love your church and if you don't like my blog, click that "x" in your top right corner! lol i say this will a smile)

Liberty Square: LOVE LOVE IT! my girls HATE HATE it. they cry every time we enter the parking lot or even mention it. I'm not exactly sure the turn off for them because they aren't able to articulate the underlying problem, but never the less, they are not a fan. the music is just INCREDIBLE (and makes me sad for church that only sing a song to 3 minutes and 26 seconds and just as you start to feel God moving its over) and I love hearing both Pastor Edwards and Pastor Jacob - BABY THEY CAN PREACH!
Chris Blackwell and his wife Jenny have stolen my heart with their passion and dedication to those youth and the people that they come in contact with. They are the ones who call us periodically to encourage us, check on us, and I seriously believe they don't care where we go to church, they just know we need to be somewhere. They are awesome and I want more than anything to just go to that church - but we have hit several walls over the past 2 years and for some reason can't seem to get over them, around them, i don't know - there is just a lot of struggle in our attempts to get involved there.

First Baptist: BY FAR the best childrens program I have ever seen. It's unreal. I wish every single church would go check out what they do and copy and paste. (Who cares if your a different "denomination". It's not like your going to be teaching them about talking in tongues and women as pastors and such, it's the Basics and it's awesome!)And the people there are amazing. I truly miss not getting to see some of them on a regular basis but we think of them often and continue to thank God for blessing us with so many new friendships!

Sam Jones: We were invited by my sweetest friend and only went on a Wednesday night for the kids. I never made it to the Sunday morning service because Jody wanted to try Oakleaf, however, the children's pastor there is precious and definitely has a heart for the kids. Plus, we just aren't Methodist. :)

And now onto the one place that is challenging me in many ways, yet somehow causing me to push forward in my understand of Jesus and who He really is and what He would have done to win the lost if He were walking the earth in 2010.

I totally think Jesus would love Oakleaf. I was super SUPER uncomfortable when we walked in and they were playing Rascal Flatts. I mean, what does being raised in the boondocks have to do with coming to church to worship the Almighty Most High God! Ooooo the super-anti religious person I like to think I am, totally over took my body and WOW, I don't like that girl. I love that my kids LOVE it there, it makes it so much easier to sit through a sermon and not think every minutes that my girls are crying in a corner somewhere. We were the most over dressed, as we tried to walk that middle road of casual and "sunday attire" to give us a better chance of fitting in. Tons of people were drinking coffee during the service, which i found weird but ok. you can get on your i-phone or blackberry to log in and read the scriptures and notes, and they turn the lights out and blast the music. Jody totally loved the music, and i swear i could totally see him popping in his earrings and tongue ring for church.

it reminded me of the first time i went to world harvest, which is where Jesus changed our lives. I HATED IT!!!!!! wow, did I hate it. But I was pushed to see things in a different light. The people that were there were the ones that would have never gone to church anywhere else, and I am so glad they weren't like anywhere else. We need to reach the ones that don't "do church" and we need to reach the ones that only know how to "do church."

now im not saying that pushing the envelope is always needed, because it usually just wastes a lot of energy for the sake of being different, but sometimes, it can cause us to view our calling as christians differently. now, i'm not saying that oakleaf is where we will commit to investing our lives, but it is totally rocking my world.

i think we could really be happy anywhere, but the more we pray about it, i don't think Happy has anything to do with it. i'm okay with however long it takes for us to figure things out. i was so desperate to feel "at home" again and now i'm just going to let God to what He needs to do in me, to get my heart capable of committing.

and i'm not asking you to move from the church God has you, but if you ever want to see what's going on over at oakleaf, they have saturday night service that will rock your socks off. God's doing a new thing over there....

this blogging thing

2010-01-04T11:54:00.005-05:00

I have decided to take a good long break from this blog for a while. I was really inspired by a friend this year to start capturing and recording memories for my little girls, so I am going to focus on doing that for a while and letting this one sit on the back burner. :) Hope you all are being blessed by the new year and are encouraged and excited to see all that God is going to do in 2010!

let me make myself clear...

2009-12-22T17:00:00.002-05:00

I have been seriously irritated today and just need a second to vent.....

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do i make myself clear?!?!?! lol (and that's the PG version)

hee hee i feel better now.........thanks

its the most wonderful time of the year...

2009-12-03T15:59:00.003-05:00

the holiday season is in full swing around here! getting ready for the parade, planning trips to go caroling and our annual lunch at the Swan House before going to ride the Pink Pig! lots of fun things happening and today we got a special treat! we have been loving all the fun surprises that have come this year with Skeeter (our Elf on the Shelf) and today we got a message from Santa himself! go to the Kroger website and schedule a message for your kids! my girls screamed to loud we could hardly hear what he was saying!

hope you are taking time to slow down and enjoy this Christmas! what a wonderful time to think on the gifts He has given us!

Heal the Wounds, but Leave a Scar

2009-11-30T14:11:00.009-05:00

Thanksgiving was so great! I absolutely love my family and enjoy being with them so much. We have our same old jokes and memories we laugh at which always includes a touch-football game where Jody left many bleeding and tons of Brokeback Mountain jokes....We always cry during the blessing when we remember those we love so much who are no longer with us....its just one of my most favorite days of the year and I am really looking forward to next year.

Friday I got up at 3 and left to do some major holiday shopping and then me and the girls went to their first slumber party! (even though I was downstairs the whole time! lol) Saturday consisted of more shopping and some more decorating.

And then came Sunday.... One of our dearest friends graduated from the Timothy House after a 4 1/2 process of being sent to prison and then coming back to complete what he had started. What God has done in his life is an absolute miracle and walking with him through the experience of his sentencing, visiting him over 3 years in prison and now the completion of this program has truly changed me as a person. They had asked me to sing a song for the service and I came across a song that literally felt like it was written for me.

It was all I could do to keep my composure when I sang it because I looked out and saw a congregation of people who were in the midst of fighting for their lives against prostitution, addiction and many other things. I think I have gotten comfortable lately in the new life God has given us, and forgotten just how bad it had gotten and how easily it would be like that again, if it weren't for His unbelievable mercy and grace.

I just wanted to give you a few of the lyrics...

Heal the Wound, Leave a Scar

I used to wish that I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased,

Then I could just pretend I didn't know the me back then

I used to pray that you would take this shame away,

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But then I'm reminded of the place you brought me from

It keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

Heal the wounds but leave a scar

A reminder of how merciful you are

I was broken torn apart, take the pieces of my heart

Heal the wounds but leave a scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I am not proud of what I bring

But I'll build an alter with the rubble that you found me in

And with every stone I'll sing

Of what you can redeem!

Heal the wounds but leave a scar

A reminder of how merciful you are

I was broken torn apart, take the pieces of my heart

Heal the wounds but leave a scar

An "On Time" Word

2009-11-01T20:16:00.002-05:00

Perry Stone is coming back to Cartersville! He will be at the Church at Libery Square next week November 6-8! His ministry "Voice of Evanelism" and television program is on my Top 3 favorites!!!! Not only is he and evangelist, he is the closest person I could imagine calling a modern day prophet! Please Please Please make time in your schedule next week to attend one of these services! Friday @ 7, Saturday @7, and Sunday @ 8:30, 10:45, and 6!!! For more info you can visit libertysq.org or voe.org! Get ready for an ON TIME WORD!!!

Do you need to laugh?

2009-10-23T09:41:00.003-04:00

If there is anyone reading this that really just needs to laugh, please come and spend an afternoon with my 3 year old. While some things of things I am going to quote her on might seem a bit off color, just get over yourselves for a minute and enjoy, through my embarrassment, some of my favorite sayings of Joannah Ray.

#1. We were discussing our body during bath time and I was trying to explain that we needed to be modest and keep our body covered up and then we got to the private parts portion of the conversation. I wasn't sure that anything had made an impact until we arrived the next morning at school when she made everyone sit down in her class because she really needed them to know that she couldn't take off her panties or show them her boobies, but not to worry that one day they would get really big and she would have lots of milk in them and that she would feed all the babies in the world and maybe a dog or two :) I haven't received any phone calls from parents yet, but I am sure they think very highly of me....

#2. (many of you have heard this) Joannah was put under anesthesia for some dental work and boy was she mad when she started to come to.....she was half drunk and pee peed all over me while i was holding her. She started swinging her first in the air and turned to me in with a numb mouth and little speech impediment and said "I want you to whoop his a$$" yep, that's right....and Jody wasn't even there to help me recover from all the people in the waiting room looking at me,.... seriously, its really not that funny to read unless you know her....

and the latest...

#3. Race is not an issue in our family. Some of the people closest to us are black and the girls are used to there being different cultures and ethnicity's around. Well, one of their new favorite movies is Hairspray which is a really cute musical that is based on racial integration in the 60's. Last week we took the girls to the pumpkin patch in Dawsonville and it was packed! We walked inside and she was soo excited she through her little arms as wide as they would go, pushed her chin up to the sky and with the loudest voice she could muster screamed " I WISH EVERYDAY WAS NEGRO DAY!" Are you kidding me? I got so tickled at her I could hardly catch my breath as I tried to quickly move her to notice the huge pumpkins.... and while we were walking around....she began to sing..."now I've tasted chocolate, and I'm never going back"....seriously...i tried explaining to her that they weren't talking about candy bars and to hush but it just made it all the more reason for her to sing sing sing!

Yall, I admit that I am known to say things that are completely inappropriate when I am uncomfortable or when someone is in a bad mood, so I guess this gene has passed to the next generation. I laugh uncontrollably when I get nervous which is usually at funerals, or Dr's offices, (i mean, i seriously laughed the entire time Joannah was back in surgery and I know those parents thought I must have been heartless not to be showing concern for my child, then to have her ask me to whoop him...it was quite a morning)....I know, it's weird. But I have realized that it is soooo good for your soul to just get to laugh. Please, if you are having a bad day, call me or my daughter.

Daily Moral Inventory

2009-09-24T09:25:00.004-04:00

Have you ever taken a moral inventory of yourself? I had not until Jody went in the Timothy House and all the men were doing it, so I thought I would just see how mine looked. Well, it was pitiful!!!! We most of the time, go through out our day and think we have done fairly well because we don't commit the "BIG" sins. But if we take a closer look at the smaller areas of our lives as well, we realize how much room there is for God to further transform us.

The last post was about the 12 steps, and if you didn't work through them, at least try number Step 4:- Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. "Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." (Lamentations 3:40) Here is a link to the actual form we used daily and it is something I am going to bring back in my life. I still have so far to go and this is one of the things that totally transformed my walk with Christ!

http://www.adventrecovery.org/downloads/Daily_Moral_Inventory_Worksheet.pdf

Doing this daily is not the easiest thing because we love to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. But it also causes us to see when God is changing us!

I encourage you to just do it once, and then again and again. :) There is ALWAYS more God can do!

Aren't we all recovering from sin?

2009-09-23T09:18:00.004-04:00

As most of you know, Jody and I are called to minister the Gospel to those who are struggling with addictions and the families that are caught up in the mess. We have experienced first hand the miracle working, bondage breaking, supernatural power of God and it is ONLY through Him that our lives were truly changed.

With that said, we believe that there aren't 12 steps to finding a life free from addiction, only 1 which is accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. But as you look closer to the 12 steps and their Biblical origin, I think it is incredible how it truly can change any believers life. And I would also say that we are all, as born again believers, recovering from a selfish life of sin. So please, indulge me as I present you what I believe can totally transform your life, whether you are new to accepting Christ or have been a commited follower for many years. ( I mean, we could all use refreshing right?)

Now, the first few steps will probably seem elementary for strong believers, but stay with me, because I think that this process will bless you.

Step 1:
We admit we are powerless over our addiction (sin) and our lives have become unmanagable.
"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

Step 2:Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)

Step 3: Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)

Step 4:- Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. (Lamentations 3:40)

Step 5 - Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16a)

Step 6- Be entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:10)

Step 7 - Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Step 8- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Luke 6:31)

Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12)

Step 11 - Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God aswe understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. (Colossians 3:16a)

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

When these steps are truly applied, your life will be changed. Most people who are not immediately affected by addiction, don't have any idea what the 12 steps really are. But can you imagine if all believers put these principles into practice? If we daily looked at our lives and examined our hearts, we will always be an open, humble, and willing vessel for God to use.

**I know this was a little long, but if you have made it this far, I encourage you to work through this in the next week and watch to see a new freedom in Christ!

God bless and much love to you all

holla :)

2009-09-19T18:00:00.006-04:00

well, it looks like we were heading north and then God said take a right at the next light. :) if I had known before i started the trip, i probably would have tried to find a detour....and that's probably why He didn't say anything til now :)

good grief, i thought we were going to join first baptist and get our fresh start back, but right after the membership meeting we went to, we almost felt sick! which, sounds horrible to write, and i don't mean it in a bad way lol but we knew that God was trying to tell us something.

i was instantly irritated with God and it has taken a couple of weeks for my questions to stop so I can just listen, but His plan was so sweet. i probably wouldn't have come back if i had known it would end so abruptly, but He knew that, and gave us a chance to come back and mend some wounds and get closure and peace. i am so grateful to have been able to catch up with lost relationships, to be able to say i was sorry to some, and again, for God to show us how much He has done in our lives.

i am sad that we won't be a part of an incredible sunday school class and am totally going to miss game nights. i am going to miss singing with people who worship with their whole hearts. but what will i gain? that part i am excited about! we have no idea where God will set our feet, but i am so thankful for the period of rest He has given us!

be praying that our preference doesn't interfere with our assignment and that we will truly begin to set forth on the reason that God brought us back to Cartersville!

holla :)

****oh, and i just wanted to thank all of you that prayed for us, visited the hospital and fed us after Julia's accident. I honestly don't know how I would have made it without you and will be forever grateful! we were so blessed by your love and strength and it ministered to our family in a way that will ever know! we pray that God blesses the First Baptist family with good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over!

soooooooooooo BIG!

2009-08-26T09:35:00.002-04:00

ok, whoever is reading, just be ready cause i am literally overflowing......its spilling out.....making a mess.......i had no idea God was this Big.

it might sound like elementary teaching, but have you ever just stopped to think about how small we are and how BIG God really is? i am for the third time reading "crazy love" and it is totally rocking my world. it seems to be just a simple book of things we already should really know in any "mature" spiritual walk, but this has become a rhema word to me. God is Big. we can't even really fathom it, because we can't "see" Him. well, i want you to look at a video that goes along with my book. i haven't bothered to watch them the last couple of times i read the book, but it's totally different now that i have.

go to www.crazylovebook.com and watch "the awe factor" video. i know that this is something we all know, God created the heavens and the earth. the sun, moon, and stars. but just look at this video and see with your eyes, just some of what He spoke into exsistence.

seriously, the God that created all that, yea...knows your name. i am overwhelmed and really don't understand it. that same God, took this girl that He could have easily just done without, and completely changed her heart and life to truly love Him. HE talks to ME. yet, most of the time i have to busy with my own "life" to spend REAL time worshipping and listening to Him. if God is that big, and chooses us, how can we not rearrange our lives to revolve around Him. instead of thinking that it all revolves around us.

GREAT and MIGHTY GOD, I worship you from the very depths of the heart you created in me. I knew you were Big, but I just forgot How big. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for believing that I was worth the sacrifice of Your only Son. Thank you for knowing the number of hairs of my head, I can't even comprehend You. I am in awe. My heart is racing with calling you have set before me. Please let me fall if I ever try do accomplish it without you. I am confident that WITH you ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Forgive me that I have been so conceided in how far I've come, because it is only because of you grace and mercy. I love you. I worship You and know that Today is the day You have made. May I continue to spend enough time with You to truly know what my purpose is for each day. Thank you for the revelation of what it is today! I wish I could hug you but I know you feel my love. I love you, I love you, I love you!

say a little prayer...

2009-08-12T16:22:00.000-04:00

say a little prayer for my baby :) tomorrow morning joannah is having oral surgery on her back molars and will have to be put to sleep. i know that all these things are very routine, but there is still always that apprehension when your baby is being put under anesthesia. they have had us running in circles for weeks between her pediatrician and cardiologist, but we finally got cleared this morning to go ahead with it. she has absolutely no idea what surgery is, but she DOES know that when you have it, you get suprises :) i made the mistake of telling her she could pick whatever she wanted for her "surprise" and she quickly made her request for a trip to the beach and disney world.....i told her a surprise was more like a babydoll and she told me she would take it with her on our trip.....one of these days i will learn my lesson :)...at least she didn't ask to keep the baby pig....

crazy love

2009-08-06T20:18:00.004-04:00

i started reading a book today called "crazy love" and in just the first 4 chapters i am completely overwhelmed with my thoughts on God and how i love Him and how He loves me. God is SO BIG! and the more i try to come up with words to describe what He is to me, the more i sound like a 2 year old trying to read the dictionary. the words don't seem to make sense in comparison to the description of who He really is. the holy spirit fell upon me and as i began to play the piano and sing, earthly words began to disappear and i began to sing to him a new song. it's been quite a while since i just stopped thinking about the right thing to say and the spirit within me connected and truly sang a song that only my God understood. it was like a secret love song. thank you Lord for spending time with me today.

please get the book 'crazy love'. it has caused a great confidence to be re-strengthened on this tired and weak girl. you will probably be hearing a lot from me about this for a while :) and while nothing is more important to read than His word, this book causes you to really think about Whose words you are reading and how incredible it is that He spoke them to us. I feel like a school girl with a new crush....seriously....i don't know how to explain it. i think i'm falling in crazy love...

i'm putting up a billboard :)

2009-08-05T20:00:00.004-04:00

ok, i had no idea that it had been 4 weeks since my last post! times flies when you are having fun...and it also crawls when you under mental attack. the past four weeks i have probably experienced every single emotion possible! external and internal things began to take it's toll on me but i am very happy to say that i have had my breakthrough. the Lord has been speaking very strongly to me about 2 very specific things that i seem to have a hard time giving Him full control over. and one of those is my vision.

Proverbs 29:18
Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the low [of God, which includes that of man] - BLESSED is he.

The Lord told Habakkuk to write the vision that God had given him, and to engrave it so plainly on tablets that everyone who passed could read it easily. God promised that His vision would be fulfilled on its appointed day. I stuggle with my confidence in what God has called me from and called me to, and it is impossible for me to truly be effective if I don't believe in what I'm "selling." And he told Habakkuk to put it out for everyone to see. That would be like a big bill board in my front yard telling everyone that the girl that lives in this house is commited to delivering the message of a God that breaks all bondage....and will help you learn a song of praise that will help call upon Him as you press on toward a new life in Jesus.

That is what I am on this earth to do and that is what I WILL do. I think sometimes we forget it's not about us at all, but about Him who lives inside us. I am my worst critic, extremely insecure about the all the things I still fall short in, BUT daily I giving over my fears and humbly begging Him to use me.

Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose} and let your gaze be straight before you. Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright. Turn not aside to the right or to the left; remove your goot from evil. Proverbs 4:25-27

Lord, please let me eyes be focused in on You and Your path for me. I am forever grateful of the work you have done in my life and that You are willing to walk with me daily, so the person I am is continually transformed. Thank you for truly being my Strong Tower and even though I have felt the winds and the rain, that the waters didn't overtake me. Only You Lord, Only You really know the depths of my heart and I ask that You once again invade and overwhelm me with Your presence. Help me stay true to the calling you have set before me. Thank you for taking my place on Calvary. May my melodies bless you and cause you to know that I love you and adore you.

a hurting heart....

2009-07-01T09:58:00.002-04:00

this morning at 3 am my sweet baby cousin, jake, lost his 7 year old daughter to cancer. my heart physically hurts for him. i have a love for jake that is very different than the love i have for most of my extended family. he became a special part of my family when he moved into the timothy house. i want to have the right words to say but i am at a loss. please pray for them as they try to endure this season in their lives. i can only imagine the questions they have for God. please please pray that the words that come out of our mouths are words that He would have us speak. kiss your sweet babies extra today.

Chattanooga Choo Choo....

2009-06-30T10:50:00.000-04:00

We had a great getwaway to Chattanooga and I just wanted to share with you and few of my favorite pictures :)

I'm in love with this guy....

2009-06-20T19:26:00.003-04:00

I have always loved him, but I completely fell in love with him all over again when he became the father of my children. He loves and does more for his little girls than any man I have ever been around. He says all the time he's "just one of the girls" around our house that is daily overtaken by makeup, dancing, panties, fingernail painting and princess mania :) He never acts too macho to do anything they ask and it makes my heart so completely overwhelmed to see his love for them. We took him on a little "fathers day getaway" this weekend and had more fun than I thought possible.

I am so grateful for the Godly man he is.
For the prayers he prays over our girls every night.
For the break he gives me every night since I have been with them all day.
For him "dancing with the stars" just to hear the girls giggle.
For singing High School Musical and Disney Songs at the top of his lungs.

For letting the girls constantly baptize you "In the name at Jesus" at the pool.
For bringing home the girls flowers for no reason, which is setting the bar pretty high for whoever tries to get their attention later on :)
For always eating the little surprises the girls cook for you without making faces :)

He is a good man, an incredible husband, and the BEST father. We are so blessed to have you Jody Ray. We are all 3 totally in love with you. Happy Fathers day!

Just the beginning....

2009-06-10T18:36:00.001-04:00

Sunday morning was a good time for me. I must admit that there is quite a big difference between charismatic and baptist churches :) And I am used to the wildest, most expressive services. Well, Sunday my husband got to shout and I got in the isle to jump and dance! WOOOO HOOOOO! When one of the pastors asked for some people to call out a "name" of God, I knew my husband was going to be excited! He loves to talk back to the preacher during services and was one of the first voices that I heard. It made my heart happy. We like to participate :)

Then the praise team sang one of my favorite songs, "I am Free." I felt like God was saying to me, "well, are you or aren't you?" And I had to answer. I mean, if you don't want people to run and dance, don't tell me I am free to, cause I will take you up on that offer :)

We say all the time that if we can scream at the top of our lungs for a football team, that we ought to get more excited about Jesus, My Saviour, My Redeemer, My Best Friend, My Comfort.... Friends (esp. my sweet friends that love sports)...are you just as passionate about Him? What He did for us is much more exciting than a guy that swings a bat or kick a field goal in the final minutes of a game!!!! I must admit that I really really REALLY HATE being the only one out of the bunch that got my groove on, but I need Him to know that it is more important to me what HE thinks about me that others. He expects me to worship Him with ALL my heart, mind, and strength. It is soooo much easier to do it when everyone else is doing it, but I know that it might make it easier for someone else to, if I am.

Onto the bigger picture.....I am so blessed and honored to call Andrea Helton a dear friend that I have had in my life for 10 years now. God has used her to change my life. 7 years ago this week, she gave birth to her first little girl, Caroline. There were some devastating complications that left Andrea in critical condition and Caroline handicapped. I can remember sitting in the hospital lobby with all my stupid balloons crying and asking God what could possibly be His purpose in all this. From the very moment I talked to Shep and Andrea, they believed nothing less than that God was a healer, and would heal their daughter. Over the past 7 years, they have had many many encounters, signs, prophecies, dreams and visions that support their faith that God will heal her and we are anxiously awaiting that the time has come for her healing. June 12. Can you imagine the courage, strength, and faith it takes to actually utter the words that you believe God has given you the day your child would be healed? I stand in awe of the woman she is in Christ. While Caroline has given us all a reason to believe, I am a changed person because of her mother.

There have been many circumstances that I have found myself in over the past 7 years that have been a crossroad of faith, and because of Andrea, I have looked at God differently. I don't know the countless times I have said, "If Andrea can believe God, so can I." And while I know that it is only because of her relationship with Him that makes her this way, she chooses to believe. She chooses to feel uncomfortable, because she doesn't want to risk being disobedient. And in her blog, she said she would rather be wrong than not be brave. If June 13th comes and nothing seems to have changed, rest assured the day is coming. And the world will never be the same.

This is just the beginning my friends...please lift up this family and ask that God will reveal himself continually in the days leading up.... I know my God is a Healer.... And I can't wait for Caroline to be able to tell you herself....

Just wait and see my dance then....

what a weekend!

2009-05-18T16:36:00.003-04:00

my sweet baby brother got married this weekend to the love of his life. the wedding was incredibley beautiful, and very short. he said, "i just want to get married and celebrate." and celebrate we did! i have to say that it was like a fraternity party for the most part but we had such a good time dancing, eating and laughing! it's been quite some time since i danced til 2 in the morning, and i am paying for it! my legs feel like jello!!!

here is picture of my sweet family. i would love to post more when i have a chance, there were some truly hilarious moments caught (not that i would show you any of mine! ha!)

First things first.....

2009-05-11T08:25:00.004-04:00

My sweet girls are still sleeping and I thought I might get on this computer that I haven't seen in 3 weeks and begin to record the details of our last few weeks. I am so excited to tell about our trip to Disney World which was absolutely magical and our time in St. Simon's which is our home away from home, but as most of you know, this past week deserves the time slot today.

I am still a little raw with emotion over Julia's accident, especially with the news of a 3 year old that died yesterday in Florida when his tv fell of the dresser and hit his head. I'm not sure about God's will in things like this, but I am forever grateful that my sweet angel is doing so well. It was probably the most horrifying sight I have ever laid my eyes on and wish I could get the picture out of my head. I have since learned that she was crawling up in the drawers looking for movies in our entertainment stand and that her weight pulled it over and that's how the tv fell off. She was in and out of conciousness at different times over the first several hours. There were no open wounds so it was hard for me to tell exactly what was going on. When we arrived at Cartersville's Emergency Room all they told me was that there was a good size fracture in her skull and the CT showed bleeding on her brain. The next thing I know we are on a helicopter and on our way to Egleston. Once we got there, we had several instances where she threw up and to me it seemed like every time she threw up she became more herself, especially in her speech. By the 5th hour there, she was sitting up and coloring. I know that God Almighty heard our prayers and allowed such a quick change. The second set of CT's showed that there was a "substancial" (whatever that is supposed to mean) amount of new blood on her brain and that even though things looked so good on the outside we were not out of the woods. Thankfully by the 3rd day, they ruled out the possiblity of a slow bleed and we were able to come home on the condition that we kept her still and in the bed for the next 3-5 days. We have been home for 3 days and she is doing really well. There are certain psychological things, on top of the physical, we are dealing with and your continued prayers are greatly appreciated.

I missed my sweet Joannah while we were gone. I am trying to balance my attention and the girls are being very patient with me. I just so wanted to be "SuperMom" and be able to handle and balance it all. I have been so fortunate with all those who are helping us with meals so I can just sit with my girls. I have had those 'no-sleep' cries are so thankful that the ones who have seen me lose it, just smile and let me cry.

They are starting to wake up so I will just quickly share two little rays of sunshine that peirced through this cloudy experience and allowed me to see God in the midst.

The first happened on the 7th, and for those of you who read Andrea's Blog, you already know a little bit about this. But, I was laying in the bed with Julia who was sound asleep and nurse came in to do vitals at 4:45 on the dot! I remember making a comment about her timing and her telling me she would be out in 5 mintues :) The clock was now at 4:50 and she gave me a little grin and walked out without a word. I began to cry like a baby and had a flash back of sitting at Kennestone hospital after my sweet friend delivered a little girl that would forever change our lives, and began to pray for her. Momma's need prayer. (This sweet friend was the first person besides my family that I called during the accident because when I wanted someone that I knew could PRAY and continually had our Lord's ear! ) Later that morning, Jody Julia and I gathered around the bed and began to say our prayers. We prayed specifically for the Heltons and the power of the Holy Spirit moved me to share and encourage my sweet friend that God WOULD HEAL HER CHILD!!! Long story short, God had woken her up at 5 and began to minister her in His Word and later that morning we both really pumped when we realized His timing! As Christians, in this big family of God's, all of our experiences in life are like a crocheted blanket, and I was so encouraged to have that moment woven into my day! Thank You Father!

And the second came as the little boy in the room next to us began to scream, and I mean scream for at least 30 minutes straight! Julia was laying in my arms and said to me...

"Mommy? You member how those people learned my name and prayed for me and my cracked head? Lets hold hands and pray for our little baby next door. We need to tell God about this."

So Jody and I held her hands and SHE prayed for the little boy. Jody and I remained quite with tears streaming from our eyes and listened to her talk to her Heavenly Father. You all have ministered to her, especially when it comes to the power of prayer. And that will make an eternal difference in her life. Thank you my sweet friends and family.

I will probably not be back on here as they are now awake and watching cartoons. Off to start another day of crafts and distractions to keep her still. Can't wait to share more little details of God's love soon......

And as you have given and minister to my family, may God give it back to you good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over!!!!!!!

The Countdown Has Begun!

2009-04-22T13:08:00.003-04:00

Can I just say that I NEED A VACATION!!! Thankfully we are packing up and heading out tomorrow night and will be gone for 10 days! I am so excited to get away with Jody and the girls. We are going to St. Simons tomorrow and going to Disney World Saturday morning to break up that long drive with two kids! This is the first vacation that I haven't had my "big mama" Sequoia and can I just say that it is impossible for the four of us to pack all we need and the strollers into my Camry?!? (Just a note: Don't send your husband to the dealership and tell him you really don't care what he comes home with....) I went ahead and sent the girls stuff and strollers down to the beach Tuesday so we don't' have to worry about trying to haul it down in my car.

When we planned the trip we scheduled it to be there on my birthday! I was so excited that I was going to be turning 27 down there.....and then my sweet, yet stupid, husband informed me that I would be turning 28! After a few minutes of debate I realized he was right. How in the world did I lose a whole year? I was hoping it was all a dream and that I would be really turning 23 or 24, but no....I'm going to be 28. I haven't had any problem with birthday's until this year. Can you imagine the drama of next year when it's my last in my twenties?!?!?!??! .....I can't talk about his anymore.....Moving on.......

Please pray for the safety of the girls while we are in the busy parks and for our travel. I seem to be overwhelmed with "what if's" before we travel, but after this Esther bible study, I hope that I actually can enjoy this trip instead of being consumed with fear!

We're all in this together...

2009-04-21T17:51:00.000-04:00

We had such an amazing weekend! Friday night we took the girls out to eat, Saturday we went to Auburn for the A-day game and got to leave the girls there ;), Sunday School party Saturday evening, late night date for me and Jody, Sunday morning was great and Sunday night was the annual Bartow Baptist Associational Meeting. Of course, we were exhausted, but it was totally worth it.

The meeting was held at Tabernacle Baptist Church and had a combined choir of 6 different churches. I LOVE a big choir! We could have sung the "ABC's" and it would have kicked butt! The campaign for this year is "TEARS", Tell Everyone About the Risen Savior! There were some really disturbing statistics about Bartow County. Did you know that only 32% of people in Bartow County claim to be a part of some kind of religion?!? And that includes ALL religions, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, etc. And 24% are members of an evangelical church. We are so naive to think that we live in a Christian community. We spend most of our time with our own little circles and have no idea that we are in the minority!

This weighs really heavily on my heart. Jody and I see only a glimpse of this working with those struggling in addiction. We have this misconception that the ones that really need Jesus are the ones who stand near the interstate ramps, and those who live in the projects. Don't get me wrong, they need Him too, but we seem to forget that people who are dressed nice, drive nice cars, take their kids to ball practice, volunteer at local museums, give lots of money to charities are still dying and going to hell because they haven't accepted Jesus as their Savior! We don't even really think of ministering to them unless their is great tragedy in their lives!

The scripture that was read was out of Luke. It's the story of the Shepperd with 100 sheep. As he counted them in the evening, he realized he only had 99. So we went and searched until he found the one that was lost. He carried it over his shoulders until they were all together. I think it is safe to say that in most of our lives, 99% of the people in our intimate circles are Christians. Yet, we all have at least one person in our lives that is lost.

If we all took on the responsibility of reaching just that one person this year, can you imagine how it would change our community? And if we told that one person, to just reach one.....

I have the person that God has laid on my heart to minister to and witness to. Please be praying about who you know that doesn't know the Lord and commit to, with God's power, lead them into a relationship with Him! We truly can start to change our community just one person at a time!

You Changed My Name

2009-04-13T15:45:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was such an incredible day for me and my family. It was probably one of the best days of my life, much less best Easters. There are too many wonderful things to type about yesterday, but there is one that I want to mention.

I have been enjoying singing with the choir at the church we are visiting. After leading worship for several years, its so nice to just come, sing, and leave! And while, I do miss the ministry, I have really enjoyed being a part of this. We had been practicing a song for several weeks called 'You Changed My Name' that was really ministering to me on a whole new level. It felt like someone opened up my heart and those were the words that came out. I even took one of the books home so I could play and sing it for hours while the girls were at school. It just felt like my song. Even my girls had learned most of the words, and Jody too.

Well, the music pastor announced last week that they were going to mix it up and add in some video. I was so curious to see how it was going to go. And Sunday morning, I thought my heart was going to overflow. There were 3 different segments of people's testimonies, all about how God had intervened in their lives and transformed them. They used to be captivated, now they were delivered and free.

I just can't begin to tell you how excited I was to hear people tell about Jesus and what He had done in their lives! We serve a LIFE CHANGING GOD! I started to think about who I was and who I am in Him now. He changed my name! I used to be insecure, now I know who I am. I used to be deceitful, now I am honest. I used to be ashamed, now I am confident. I used to be selfish, now I am thankful. I used to be angry, now I am forgiving. I used to be a complete mess, but now I am a messenger!!

I just wanted to write a few of the lyrics to the song for you. And I am interested in how He has changed your name. I think that it is so important for us to share with others what God has done for us. It builds up the body of Christ and allows us to minister to the lost.

You Changed My Name

Who I am is a mystery I can't explain

Cause your mercy fell like healing rain and washed away my past

Who I was, all my secrets and my hidden pain

Now your grace has broken every chain and set me free at last

Who I was before doesn't matter any more!

Now I live in the light of your redeeming love

And I bear the marks Your healing touch has written on my heart

With each step I take I'm reminded of the price you paid

and the living sacrifice you have to set my soul apart!

My life is Yours alone, You have marked me as your own!

You changed my name, when you called me forgiven

You changed my name, when you called me redeemed

You took my shame and wrote and new beginning to the story I was living

and I'll never be the same!

You saw what I could be and reaching out for me

You Changed My Name! You Changed My Name!

The Cross

2009-04-08T12:13:00.002-04:00

Turn off my playlist before pressing play on this video. I have sat here in tears and been brought back to the reality of my Jesus and what He did for me. I am nothing without the cross. Worship Him and Thank Him as you watch and listen. He made all things new again.

Ride em Cowboy!

2009-04-04T08:22:00.002-04:00

So, we were going to try and hit the beach for a few days this weekend, but instead I have found myself at home with the girls while Jody is off being a cowboy :) I'm actually glad we didn't go to St.Simons and I'm glad that Jody is getting a weekend away with the boys. He totally deserves it. It just cracks me up that he is going to ride a horse into the woods, pitch his tent, fish for his supper, and hopefully kill a turkey too! :) He is totally excited and the only one who doubted his ability for this cowboy weekend was me.

I mean, I love the man he is today, but I can't help but see him the way I met him sometimes, a punk with lots of earings, toungue ring, baggy clothes and a bad attitude. I was a sucker for the bad boy! Of course, I never said that I didn't think he could handle a horse up a mountain, but I sure have thought it a bunch. I don't think he has ridden one since our honeymoon.

I guess my point in all this is, sometimes we know we have the ability to do something and the excitement to try, but other people's opinions of us, (or of how they knew us), detours us away from trying something new. I have smiled a whole lot about this because I want him to have a great time and not think that I don't believe in him. I am just having to readjust my thinking of my man. But I promise if he wants to start wearing cowboy boots and a big buckle, we will have to have a talk :) hee hee

I tend to worry about whether or not someone still thinks of me the same way they did when they met me, cause I know I'm not the same girl..... Does that make any sense? Guess God wanted me to get an outside glimpse of what one of my biggest fears have been. Ain't he sweet!

I haven't been away from Jody over night since July so I am kinda dreading it, but I know he is going to have a blast. Pray for him and me too! :)

Cussed up a storm!

2009-04-03T19:19:00.003-04:00

Have you ever just wanted to cuss up a storm? Well, I just did and it only made me feel 100 times worse than I did before I said it. I am in such a bad mood and I think its just from exhaustion, nevertheless, I've just showed my tail instead of showing Christ through my frustrations.

Blah! I have nothing "spiritual" to say about this. I have a lot of growing to do even though I the Lord has brought me so far. I would just say, don't cuss it up when you are mad. It's just pointless. I normally would have just left this little part out of my blog, cause I like writing about all the things God is speaking to me, but it is my truth about my evening. I have been filled with myself instead of the spirit and need to get it in check.

Well, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. And I realize that God is going to give me more opportunities to be frustrated, so that soon I can handle it the right way....pray for me :)

Havenu Shalom Alechem!

2009-04-02T14:35:00.003-04:00

Oh say can you see, by the dawns early light...

I can be such a cheese ball when it comes to being patriotic. I love my country, ooh honey, I am proud to be an American! I get the cries every time I hear the Star Spangled Banner! I believe our founding fathers loved the Lord and gave us an incredible foundation to build our lives on.

Havenu Shalom Alechem, Havneu Shalom Alechem....

Can I just tell you that I also LOVE Israel! I know that it is more obvious that Jody and I are passionate about ministering to those in bondage, but I would say that our #2 passion is Israel. So much so, we packed our little bags and when to Washington D.C. and lobbied on Capitol Hill for the continued and unconditional support of Israel. It was one of the most wonderful memories I will ever hold. And even though there were some real goobers there, getting to meet with our Senators and Representatives was awesome.

The Bible commands us to pray for the peace of Jerusalem (Psalm 122:6), to speak out for Zion’s sake (Isaiah 62:1), to be watchmen on the walls of Jerusalem (Isaiah 62:6) and to bless the Jewish people (Genesis 12:3). These and so many other verses of the Bible that have one overriding message: As Christians we have a Biblical obligation to defend Israel and the Jewish people in their time of need.

There is a new Hitler in the Middle East, President Ahmadinejad of Iran, who has threatened to wipe out Israel and America and is rapidly acquiring the nuclear technology to make good on his threat. If we learned anything from the Holocaust, it is that when a madman threatens genocide we must take him seriously.

Hopefully we will again this summer, be able to be apart of Christians United for Israel and attend the Summit on the Hill. I'm telling you, it changed the way I see my faith, my God, and the world that we live in.

We have talked about hosting a Night to Honor Israel here in our home for any of our friends and family who want to know more about how to support Israel. We would love to have a traditional Jewish Shabbat Dinner and talk more about the family we are grafted into. Let me know if this might be something you are interested in doing.

"I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." Genesis 12:3

All up in my grits....

2009-04-02T13:34:00.003-04:00

God is all up in my grits lately. I feel like over the past 6 or 7 months I have been given a hunger to get my own "word" from God, and not just get it from the pastor or teacher at church. He is allowing me to see things that normally I wouldn’t even notice or process in a certain way.

For instance, I know someone who just recently got nailed in the face with a softball. It looked like it REALLY hurt! For over a week now, there has been swelling, deep bruising and the evidence of stitches. Then a few days later, I was reading in the book of Acts about how Stephen was stoned because of the things he was preaching about Jesus. STONED! I had just gotten to get a glimpse of what this man would have looked like if he had been hit with A stone, not multiple. Can we really say that we wouldn’t be just a little ticked if we were doing God’s work, and that was what we got in return?

I mean, I love me some Jesus but this girl can have fits with the best of them! I have been under such conviction about this. He even asked for the Lord to forgive them as he was taking is last few breaths of life. I love that he was so certain about his faith, that even the physical wounds weren't shaking him. Yet, I am shaken by the economy, family differences, theological dissagreements and other things that really aren't Life and Death. I wish I had this one in the bag, but I know that God is stretching me on this concept.

In bible study this morning, we discussed the topic of fear. I pray that as I grow in my relationship with Jesus, that I will become a girl that can forgive in my greatest moments of pain, and know that there is nothing to fear when I am walking with the Lord.

What's in a name?

2009-03-23T17:30:00.002-04:00

Can just I tell you that I love to plan things! We booked a trip to Disney World a few weeks ago and since then, I have created a notebook of all of our information for the trip. Now, that doesn't really sound so bad, but I have each day divided with it's own tab, which includes which park we will be visiting, the park and parade hours, the resturants we have reservations at, the menus for the resturants (all the resturants), all the attractions, all the live entertainment, and I even have every day broken down by the hour. lol Jody calls me the "Disney Nazi," and while I know that we won't actually stick to that tight of a schedule, I have had the most fun planning! lol (I know, I'm a dork)

Well, we have known for several years now that God was going to eventually bring us back to Cartersville to minister to the broken and hurting. So can you imagine how much planning I have done?!?! I have added so much information over the past 4 years, that I am now having to go back and edit through everything I have saved on this computer. We have a huge vision of where God is taking us, and thankfully He has shown us the first stage of where He wants us to begin. The only thing we have been "iffy" about is the name! I mean, after all these years of planning and studying, we never really thought about what to call it.

We have been in the brainstorming business around here, and are finally down to a few contenders. It's just that we are realzing how important a name is. I mean, in one or two words, it is supposed to incapsule all that we are and want to be. Plus, we don't want a name that is used somewhere else. It's just one of those things, that I know will be decided on in the right timing, I just wish it was now so I could keep on planning!!!!!

Happy Anniversary!

2009-03-22T15:57:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow will be mine and Jody's 7th wedding anniversary! We are so glad that through all the storms we have faced that God as never let us go. I can't imagine my life with anyone else by my side and am so grateful that he is mine. We have become a couple of palm trees :) No matter how hard the winds blow or how fierce the rain, we can weather the storms. It has taken us the past few months to grow our roots a little deeper, but here we are. Thank you Lord that we can celebrate a marriage that you have held in the palm of your hands and will continue to.

My cheeks hurt!

2009-03-14T16:57:00.000-04:00

Have you ever smiled so much your cheeks hurt?

I have had the most wonderful morning that I can remember! Jody and I were special guests at Overcomer's Christian Fellowship this morning and it was beyond amazing! The church represents over 35 different countries, but is mainly filled with believers who have immigrated here from Nigeria! The music was so crazy good and the pastor delivered a word that filled me up to the point of overflow! We started at 10:30 and stopped a little after 2! I have had the privilege of ministering there in song on several different occasions over the past 3 years so it is always good to be with people who consider you one of them. The always tell me that God played a joke on us all when he made me a little white girl :)

It is so neat to step outside our own world and see how others worship. They dance their tithes and offerings to the alter. It's almost impossible not to be a cheerful giver. I got to kick my shoes off and just worship Him with all the strength I had inside. And while there were moments I had absolutely NO idea what some said to me, the spirit of the Lord crossed our language barriers and made beautiful harmony in our conversations.

Dat wass en emazing deh in da lord :) praise u fada!!

Love Baskets

2009-03-13T09:36:00.000-04:00

When Jody and I started this adventure of visiting churches again, we really struggled with how involved to be or not to be, because just going on Sunday morning felt super strange. So we went through a few ideas and then it hit me, why do you need a church to minister? I had become so dependent on letting the church be in charge of my outreach that I realized we are called as Christians to minister, not just as members. So we decided the Ray family was about to start ministering, just the 4 of us. Of course with two of our members only being 3 and 4 yrs old, we had to start with something small, but we found something we could all be a part of. Love Baskets.

Jody gives me $20 a week to go to the dollar store and fill up a laundry basket with all kind of everyday items someone might need. And while this might not seem like much, you would be surprised that we can never fit it all into a basket. We usually get soap, shampoo and conditioner, laundry and dish detergent, paper towels, toilet paper, toothbrushes and toothpaste, then snacks, some noodles and spaghetti sauce and that's only $13 dollars! And then the girls help me fill the baskets up as we pray together about where we should take it. Then when Jody comes home from work, we all jump in the car and drop if off at someones door step before they see us. It is too much fun!

It has taught me so much. How blessed my family is, how to teach my kids about caring for others without needing a thank you, and how not to wait on someone else to tell me there is a need that needs to be filled. I encourage you to start something with just your family. If we all just skipped eating out once a week and loved on other people with that seemingly little $20, we could change this little city inside out. Plus it will change your home as you being to view your family as your own little ministry team! There is a campaign on "Loving Loud" at the church we are currently visiting. We were so excited that the heart of that place is just loving on people. It was exactly what we were trying to do.

Be encouraged! And don't miss an opportunity to allow your family to grow together as you stretch beyond the walls of a church!

Lord you spoke to me through High School Musical! Ha!

2009-03-10T16:36:00.000-04:00

I love to sing! It's almost an understatement. I tease all the time that I live in a musical because at least 3-4 times a day I burst out in song to my girls. I sing to them about helping me fold the laundry, taking baths, brushing our hair, and even sometimes standing in the corner. It almost makes them pay more attention to what it is I'm trying to say. Now, I'm not the best singer in the world, but I do know that God has given me the ability to sing a song without people covering their ears :) And I thank Him for that and love using my voice to praise Him.

We watched High School Musical 2 today for the 1000th time and in it there is a silly kinda song about a fish that is looking for her prince fish. The lyrics in fish language (and bare with me) go something like this, "Hooma hooma nooka nooka apa wah hah, makaheeny malaheeney hoo. I wanna waka waka waka heeny poo poo poo." Who comes up with that?!?! I know it's a little off subject, but when was the last time you sang to the Lord a new song? One of my favorite verses is Psalm 96:1, "Oh sing unto the Lord a new song, let all the earth make melody to the Lord!"

Now don't get me wrong, I love corporate worship in church. God says that "He inhabits the praises of His people," and it is the perfect way to usher in the presence of the Holy Spirit and prepare our hearts to recieve His word. But I have found that there are just some things that a song can't say to Him. No one can praise Him like you can! He wants to hear your voice and your heart. When I led worship services, we always had time after our last song to just play music and let the people worship Him with their own song. Whether worship in the spirit with their heavenly language or in natural words, the praises would fill the room like perfume.

I know there isn't always time allowances in all services for such opportunities, but don't let your praise and worship remain the same. One of my mentors told me that if we want to experience God in a new way that we have to do something different, because He is the same. So if you never close your eyes and sing to Him, do it! Or if it's uncomfortable to you to raise your hands, step out of the box and see if you don't experience Him in a new way. And if you haven't recieved the baptism of the Holy Spirit, baby you are missing out! (I think I will talk a little more about that in my next blog) But my point is, sing to Him a new song. Worship Him in a new way. He wants to hear your sweet voice sing what your heart feels. No one knows what He means to you! No one can praise Him like you can!

Mapquest.com

2009-03-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was so blessed to attend the women's conference Transforming Within. It was so wonderful to hear the testimonies of two women who thought they knew the plan God had for them until something unexpected happened and it forever changed the path to their destiny. While I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would, I was overcome with sadness toward the end.

From the time I was born until 5 years ago, I attended First Baptist Church. It was where all of my extended family attended and my close friends went. It's where I met my husband and where we got engaged. It holds some of the sweetest memories of my life. Then, when Jody and I were facing our some of our greatest battles, we found ourselves at World Harvest Church because that was the church that birthed the Timothy House. So for the last 5 years that it where we have called home. Last year, our Bishop stepped down because of some personal issues and like all good church seem to do, one group went with him and the other went with the associate pastor. Now, we knew that eventually God was going to bring us back to our community to minister, but we could never imagine leaving our church home. So when all the drama-rama started, we knew it was time to go home.

Now let me just say this about how completely spoiled we were. The worship at WHC was like nothing I had ever seen or heard. And being a good baptist girl, I HATED it at first, but now I crave those services. Can you just imagine being in a room full of people that have never ( and I mean never) been to church? No preconceived ideas about how things are supposed to go, the correct way to dress or act or talk or worship! It is overwhelming for me to even think about it. Now, imagine these people being set free from drugs and all kinds of addictions, and depression and oppression, just by being in the presence of the Almighty God. You wanna talk about worship?!? They would dance and sing and shout and run and fall on the alter! It reminds me of how David danced before Lord and his clothes fell off! They knew how powerful and how worthy He was to just worship Him with all they had inside. We forget sometimes how much we needed a Savior! I just wanna scream "AM I THE ONLY ONE HE HAS DONE SOMETHING AMAZING FOR?!?!?!?!" It is all I can do sometimes to contain myself and then I think, why in the world would I want to contain it? I have to break the box and anoint Him with my praise and worship! HE IS WORTHY! HE IS INDESCRIBABLE!

I am just now starting to get homesick for a place that isn't there anymore. I know that God blessed us with such a place to shelter us for the storm, but now it was time for us get out of the boat and start over. It was my ark during the flood. I often wonder the emotions that Noah felt once they got off the ark and it was time to go back to life on land. I'm sure there was a sense of excitement, but I'm also pretty sure his human nature felt a little homesick for what he had known as life the 600 years he had lived before the flood. I wonder how he started completely over? Even though what we are going through is NOTHING compared to what Noah's family went through, I am finding strength in his story.

We have just felt a little lost lately, not knowing what our place is, and where God really wants us planted. After being on staff at WHC and pretty much our whole lives revolving around the ministries there, it is really strange to just visit a church. I told God yesterday that I HATE not having mapquest for our future! I just want to punch in "My DESTINY" and print out the play by play of how to get there. But that's the sweet thing about God and how he puts up with me. He knows that if I could see it all I would probably run in the opposite direction! So he gently guides me and loves on me and whispers to me. And he allows me to fuss about how uncomfortable the unknown is and how He totally isn't following my plan. I am so glad that "father knows best." I just pray that whatever it is and wherever it is, that I listen and obey. Because I know that the latter will be greater than my past, and I will be blessed more than I could ask, and despite all that had been done the best it yet to come! Thank you Lord that you allow me to come to you with my fear about the future and my anxiousness to just know where I belong. I love you and can't wait to see what is in store!

Regeneration

2009-03-05T18:29:00.001-05:00

In May of 2004, a set of events started in motion that forever changed who I am. I had been married for only 2 years and had seen my husband in and out of drug rehab almost 7 times. I was only 22 and for the past two years of my life, I lived a nightmare. I had tried to smile and pretend things were ok, mainly to convince myself, and suddenly it all came to a screeching halt. Many of the details are too horrible to type, but the day ended with me sitting at Jody's bedside in ICU on life support. I was 7 weeks pregnant, extremely sick and to say the least, mentally and emotionally weak from the unknown. I had selfishly prayed so many times before that God would just let the drugs kill him so he didn't have to struggle anymore and then here I was, begging God to forget that I ever said it. Begging Him to look down on us and save him. I slept there for 4 nights until my dad finally came and physically removed me from the hospital so I could rest.

And then my phone rang at 4 in the morning and I prepared myself for the call that he was gone. Only to hear that he had woken up and pulled the tubes out by himself and there were no signs of brain damage. I didn't know if I was dreaming or hallucinating because of exhaustion. But it was true! He was ok, but where did we go from here. Now I was not just putting myself through this, but bringing a child into the world. To say the least, I was terrified and had lost all hope.

We were looking for help. Desperate to find a place that could fix Jody's addiction. We came across the Timothy House and set up an appointment to see if they would take him. We drove up to Talking Rock and I threw up eveytime we passed a chicken house. I was miserable and Jody was dreading another stint in rehab. It wasn't much to look at, seeing how we had put in the best rehab's money could buy. But what I felt when we pulled onto the property was like nothing I was ready for. I wish I could say I was happy, but I wasn't. Especially when I found out it was a 9 month live-in facitily! 9 months!!!! HELLO GOD! DID YOU FORGET I WAS PREGNANT!!!! I pouted like the best 3 yr. old you have ever seen! It wasn't fair! How was I supposed to do this on my own! I honestly figured he would only stay a few weeks so I reluctantly agreed.

A couple weeks later, I attended a church service with Jody for the first time. I hated the entire service and was ready to get out of there. But at the end of the service they had an alter call for hurting families. I went down crying and for the first time ever in my life God gave me a word. He didn't speak to me audibly but I knew it was from Him, and I knew I wasn't clever enough to put it all together without His voice saying plain and clear. And this is what He said...

"Baby girl, Don't you see? I gave you this baby to nurture, shelter and protect for 9 months. And I need my baby back for 9 months. Take your hands off Jody and let me do what only I can do! Give me 9 months to recreate his heart and mind and body. You focus on your baby, and I will focus on mine. And just like your baby won't be ready to be back in the world for 9 months, neither will Jody, so trust me."

And that was that. It was all I had to cling to, and I held on for dear life. Over the next 9 months, Jody and I met Jesus. He began a healing process that only He could handle. And for the first time Jody didn't go to a rehab, he went to a regeneration facility. You see, to rehabilitate is to bring it back to it's original state, but the word of God says that we were born sinful. So why would we want to go back to something that is damaged in the first place! To be regenerated means to be recreated, and in this case, in the image of Christ. "The old things are passed away. Behold! All things are created new in Christ Jesus!" We had been looking at it all wrong for all those years. And don't get me wrong, I know that the 12 steps help a lot of people, but the one step we make to Christ to become Lord of our lives, is the one that makes the difference!

Since our time at the Timothy House, we have had many ups and downs on the Potters' wheel, but we have become advocates of those facing addictions. And what Satan meant for harm, God has turned it around for good! Thank you Lord for looking down in that pit of selfishness, addiction, lies, adultery, hate and shame and pulling us out and placing our feet on a solid rock that cannot be moved!

Identity Theft

2009-03-05T15:58:00.000-05:00

I WAS A VICTIM OF IDENTITY THEFT!!!!

No, my wallet wasn't stolen. My credit cards numbers weren't used. My online accounts weren't hacked into. Yet, there was this girl living by the name Jacquelyn Ray. She really had a giving heart, loved to sing, would have punched someone in the face if they messed with one of her friends, went to church every time the doors were open, and always had a smile on her face (even though you could see through it if it wasn't real).

Then, five years ago, my husband and I went though probably the most desperate, heartwrenching, self-destructing times of our lives. The details would take way too long to cover now but after a few of the most agonizingly painful months I could have ever imagined, I met a man named Jesus, and everything changed. This moment of my life was obviously shocking to me, mainly because I totally thought I had the church thing down. I mean, I went every stinking Sunday, Wednesday, program, class, choir... and had confidence in what I was doing. Now, I truly felt God through all those years of attendance, but when you meet Jesus for the first time, YOU KNOW IT'S DIFFERENT! I had been fed a big dose of religion and Satan LOVED it! Now, I'm not blaming church for this, because we all have the ability to establish a real relationship with the Father, but I just totally missed it.

In the middle of our huge, nasty, stinky, hot mess, I realized that for all these years, my "identity" had been stolen. So WHO WAS I? I honestly had no idea. I knew I could wake up the next morning and begin a whole new life. Not to say that it was going to be easy, but because of a sacrifice made 2000 years ago, by a man named Jesus, my true identity was given to me and all that was stolen was about to be restored.

There is a song my Israel & New Breed call "I Know Who I Am." It's a daily must for all of us reaching to be all we are in Christ Jesus. It's so easy to forget and confuse what we truly are with what our past is, or what the world says we are. Identity Theft is one of the biggest problems facing churches today. If we only realized who we are because of Who resides in us, everything would change, EVERYTHING.

So, with all this, I encourage you guard your heart, not just your wallet. Because there is one that doesn't want you to get a hold of your own Identity.